Breaking The Period Taboo

Pic Source

That’s right.  I’m going there.

 

Aunt Flow.

Crimson Tide.

The Curse.

Period.

 

Call it what you will;  it is an inevitable rite of passage to womanhood.

It’s also a topic that as my friend and I once put it, the sort of thing that makes you plug yours ears and sing, la la la la la la, until the person stopped the torture.

 

I don’t know to many women in my life who have felt comfortable talking about the very thing that turns us into a woman, let alone tell their story of the first time they received their period, until I recently read a book appropriately titled, My Little Red Book.

 

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Until I read this, I didn’t realize that most stories of women’s transition in to womanhood was not as thrilling as they thought it would be.  Which is a relief, because the story of “my first” could have easily made it into this book.

 

So what exactly does this book have to say?

 

Here is the skinny:  It is a miscellany of stories of first periods written by women of all ages, of all backgrounds, and from all corners of the world. Some of the stories are hilarious, mortifying, stoic, and almost heroic. 

 

Things I didn’t realize:  That there have been many myths associated with periods.  In fact, one father told her daughter she could not work in the garden while on her period because it would kill the plants.  Scientists tried to prove this theory but failed.  Duh.   

 

Overall:  I think the author’s purpose for writing this book is hoping for a change in attitude and perception on how we talk about our periods, especially to our daughters.  I feel as though she hopes that it will bring mothers and daughters to the table and begin talking to each other, because lets face it;  Girls have a lot of questions, even if they don’t ask.

 

So I have to ask.  Are you bold enough to tell your first period story to a public audience?

I Did The Splits…Literally

I just wanted to tell everyone that I did the splits first thing in the morning.

Yep.  At 31 years of age, I did the splits.  

Feeling a bit nostalgic that morning, I slid my battered duck slippers onto my very cold feet.

From there, I cruised through the house, completing my usual routine; brush teeth, pull back hair, begrudgingly walk down the stairs, rubbing my eyes, wishing I was asleep in my warm bed.

Making it downstairs safely, I opened the baby gate, and took one step onto the lament hardwood floor.

This very ordinary motion prompted my slipper to react with my floor as if it were freshly mopped in oil.

Without any time for my morning brain to react properly, my foot slid straight out in front of me without warning.

I was also juuuuust barely out of reach from the table to grab hold of in order to catch my inevitable fall from grace.

Then it happened…

Down she went… my 31 year old-out-of-shape-body.
Landing into the splits, with duck slippers on my feet.

Then I hear, “It’s a TEN!”

Not really.  But it would have been funny if someone did shout that.  

What lesson did I learn?

I now understand the importance of stretching.  I also now know that you can skip caffeine because doing the splits will make you feel wide awake!

Ouch.  Now excuse me while I go stretch.

Oh…and just in case you were wondering,  I no longer own those slippers.

Bubba 0 | Karma 1 | The Blair Witch In Texas

My husband’s high school friend, Terry, came to visit last week, and while I don’t often write about my husband, (the one pictured to the right is my husband, Bubba) I feel I have to retell a story they shared with me, that had me laughing until my face turned red.

In fact, I think this story deserves to be told.  It’s not doing any good wasting away in their heads.  Haha.

I hope it at least puts a smile on your face!   


The Blair Witch In Texas

Bubba, Terry, and Josh were the ripe age of sixteen when they decided to camp on a piece of land owned by Josh’s mom’s boyfriend.  Their plan was to stay one week, but on the third day boredom struck.

While Terry and Josh left to try their hand at fishing, Bubba decides the only way to beat the boredom was by mentally scaring his two buddies.

Wasting no time putting thoughts into action, Bubba marched to the back of the campsite where he stacked sticks and rocks behind a hill in different shapes.  Stepping back to admire his handy work, he decided to take it a little further; he grabbed a stick and etched the words, DIE and I’m going to get you in the mud.

While in the middle of his brilliant scheme, Josh busted him.
Josh: “What are you doing!?”
Bubba: “Uhhh…I was trying to scare y’all.”

A short pause.

Josh flashes a crooked smile, looks at Bubba and says, “Let’s get Terry.” 

You didn’t have to tell Bubba twice.  Together, they kept stacking rocks and sticks into shapes.

Proud of themselves, they headed back to camp.  About one hour later, Terry joins them at the tent where they begin to tell him stories about bums that would be caught around there doing strange things in the woods.

Terry took what they said lightly until they took him for a walk at dusk around the woods while continuing to fill his head with more elaborate stories of the witches and the crazy homeless that stalked the woods at night.

Armed with flashlights, they stumbled across random items left by someone else in the woods providing “evidence” that their bum stories were indeed, real.

By now, Terry began buying into their elaborate story.

When it was completely dark, they took Terry around to the spot where they had laid the sticks and rocks out.  Bubba made a big scene, pretending to be scared.

Bubba: “What is all of this stuff!?”

Terry ran up behind him, shined his light on it,  and completely freaked out!  He turned around and ran back to camp as fast as he could.

Bubba and Josh were clearly bemused with themselves.

Back at the campsite, they kept up their charades 

Terry being completely freaked out, pops firecrackers (to keep the bums away) and maintains a huge fire throughout the night.

The next morning, Bubba and Josh awakened to ALL their bags and coolers piled in front of the tent.  They looked over to sleeping Terry, white knuckling his army knife. 

This is when Bubba and Josh loose it, and start laughing and making fun of Terry.  Of course, this made Terry a little butt hurt so he grabbed his gear and packed it away in his car.
They tell him to stay and that it was them all along.

In the end, Terry stayed.

Later that night, they were all inside the tent making shadow puppets after a long war with bottle rockets. (Shooting fireworks at one another)
All of a sudden they hear a loud thud on the tent.

They didn’t think to much about it until they heard something rustling around the tent.

By now, all three boys are shaking, freaking out, “Did you just hear that?”

A large shadow passes in front of the tent.  Now they started to get a little worried and panic ensues.  Someone runs up and starts shaking the tent, violently.  Everyone in the tent storms out, screaming, ready to make a getaway…only to find it was Josh’s mom and cousin messing with them! A storm was approaching and they came to give them a heads up.

Bubba: 0 | Karma: 1